Hanyou Rhymes
by Amara Anon
Summary: [Poems] A collection of silly limericks parodying all characters and pairings. Ch 6 now up featuring: Kaede, Kagome, Sango, Sesshomaru, Kikyo, Inupapa, and every pairing possible. Not really.
1. Volume 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

_A/N: Written for iypoems LiveJournal community._**  
**

**Hanyou Rhymes**

**Kikyo**

There once was a girl named Kikyo  
Who grew up to be a powerful miko.  
She'd wear a long skirt  
But they boys, they'd get hurt  
Whenever they tried to peek-o.

**Kaede**

There once was a girl named Kaede  
Who became a quite buxom lady.  
It started to show  
When at dinner she'd go  
"Could I please have some more of the gravy?"

**Confrontation**

Kagome and Kikyo demanded  
Inuyasha to show where he standed.  
He cleared out his voice,  
Almost uttered his choice,  
Then darted and left them quite stranded.

**Sesshomaru**

Demons revered him for miles.  
He had a superb sense of style.  
When others would cower,  
Rin gave him flowers,  
So he opened his mouth in a ". . ."

**Jakotsu**

There once was a girl with a scheme  
To marry the man of her dreams.  
She asked him with pride,  
But Jakotsu replied,  
"Sorry, I don't play for that team."

**Together Forever**

Sesshomaru made Rin all better.  
He promised to never forget her.  
But there was one time  
She was left behind;  
He couldn't recall where he'd set her.

**Inuyasha "Verses" Sesshomaru**

"Hanyous are very pathetic,"  
Sesshomaru smirked as he said it.  
Inuyasha got pissed  
So he balled up his fist  
And he gave him some justice poetic.

**True Love **

Inuyasha made Kagome feel smothered  
So she told him that she'd met another.  
"Who could it be?"  
Inuyasha did shriek.  
"None other than your dear older brother."

* * *

_A/N: Thanks for reading. I'd like to write more limericks later. Any suggestions are welcome. If you enjoyed this, check out iypoems on LJ. _


	2. Volume 2

**Modern Ginta and Hakkaku**

Us two never make a fuss  
When Koga runs in front of us.  
We used to whine,  
We used to cry—  
Now we simply take the bus!

**Where's the Love?**

Naraku's incarnations were mad  
About the poor upbringing they had.  
Not a single hug  
From that stupid lug—  
What an awful deadbeat dad!

**So Close, So Far**

Jaken never failed his lord.  
Except one time when he got bored.  
He couldn't stay  
Awake that day,  
And missed his chance to steal the sword!

**Shouga**

There once was a flea named Shouga  
Who wanted to marry Myouga.  
He finally said "yes"  
But was very distressed  
To learn she'd run off with Kouga.

**Inuyasha + Sesshomaru**

"Would you like a cup of tea?"  
My older brother asked of me.  
"Why thank you, please,"  
I said sincerely.  
You see, we'd both gone quite crazy.

**Unexpected Hero**

Naraku hired a demon goon  
To kipnap Rin on the full moon.  
But oddly enough  
The one to rebuff  
The demon foe was dear Ah-Un.

**Ayame vs. Kagome**

"Koga, you uncaring brute,  
Why choose her? She's not astute,"  
Ayame complained.  
But Koga explained,  
"You're twice as smart, but half as cute."

**Kagura **

Kagura liked to stare and gawk  
At Sesshomaru, who hardly talked  
He asked her why  
And she replied,  
"No reason, I just like to stalk."


	3. Volume 3

**Inuyasha and Kagome's Children**

Those hanyou kids come from good stock,  
With fuzzy ears and fair, white locks.  
They got one flaw  
From Ma and Pa:  
They're cute as hell, but dumb as rocks.

**Shippo**

There once was a fox-boy named Shippo  
Who could turn into a pink blimp—Oh  
How silly it was  
To see him because  
He looked less like a fox than a hippo.

**Hojo's Mojo**

There once was a sweet boy named Hojo  
But getting Kagome was a no go.  
His friends gave him advice:  
"Stop being so nice.  
Get out there and go work your mojo."

**Abi-hime**

There once was a princess named Abi  
Whose powers were not too shabby.  
You'd better not cross her.  
She can be quite the monster,  
And you don't want to see her get crabby.

**Hakudoshi**

When Hakudoshi talks trash  
He's rude, crude, and very brash.  
But you shouldn't be fooled  
By the size of this dude—  
He's small but he can still kick your ass.

**Doggie Daddy**

When the Inu no Taisho was living,  
He was kind-hearted and very giving.  
He died in his prime,  
But alive, in his time  
He enjoyed his fair share of sinning.

**The Mystery of Sessmom Revealed**

What happened to Sesshomaru's mother?  
Inuyasha fans do often wonder.  
If her death makes you sad,  
You shouldn't feel bad—  
Sesshomaru congealed from pond water.

**Jaken Bashing**

Sometimes people can be so mean  
To Jaken, who can't help his genes.  
I see Jaken's plight.  
I guess Kermit was right:  
"It's not easy being green."


	4. Volume 4

**Miroku's Mistake**

One day Miroku's hands got too grabby;  
He caught onto something too flabby.  
He'd grabbed the wrong buns!  
"Crap! What have I done!"  
Kaede thought, 'Hm, not too shabby!'

**Zombie Pimp**

When Jakotsu developed a limp  
He found it hard to be such a pimp,  
So he kidnapped a toad  
To enjoy on the road:  
Jaken the travel-sized imp.

**Sheila**

Inuyasha furrowed his brow  
As he watched Totosai swear his vows.  
It was hard to believe—  
He wanted to heave!  
Totosai had married his cow!

**Kagome Dumps Sesshomaru**

When Kagome finalized their breakup,  
Sesshomaru felt quite the shakeup.  
He cried out his eyes,  
Which wasn't so wise.  
He'd have to go touch up his makeup.

**Mota Boy**

There once was a boy named Sota  
Who didn't care one iota  
About the school rules.  
He'd hide after school,  
Hanging out and smoking his mota.

**Sango's Revenge**

Sango was mad and appalled  
At the extent of Miroku's gall.  
He'd grabbed a girl's thighs  
Right in front of her eyes,  
So she gave him a good kick in the balls.

**Kohaku's Proposal**

Kohaku wanted to shout it:  
His love for Rin had full sprouted!  
Sesshomaru frowned,  
Punched him to the ground.  
"Don't even _think_ about it."

**Shiori**

There once was a girl named Shiori  
Whose powers grew to full glory.  
Now the kids who'd made fun  
Would turn tail and run.  
Everything turned out hunky-dory.


	5. Volume 5

**Drunken Monk**

Miroku got mindnumbingly drunk—  
Went to bed with Sango he'd thunk.  
But when he got sober,  
Woke up and rolled over,  
He found out he was spooning a monk. 

**  
Koga**

Koga walked up to Kagura to flirt,  
But ended up getting his feelings hurt.  
He fed her a line,  
But she wasn't so kind.  
"Sorry, I don't date guys in skirts." 

**  
Before Sango**

Miroku's woos were quite easily skirted  
By Kagome who finally just blurted  
Out that the truth  
Wasn't he was uncouth.  
"Honestly, you're just too perverted." 

**  
Missing Persons Report**

When Kagome got stuck in the past,  
She was together with Inuyasha at last.  
But this caused quite a problem  
For her dear old mom when  
The police came and arrested her ass.

**  
Strange Love**

Sesshomaru and Kohaku forced Rin  
To decide whom she would choose between.  
They were quite shocked when  
She ran off with Jaken.  
It turns out she has a thing for "green".  
**  
**

**Ginta and Hakkaku's Motive**

That Koga's pals aren't as fast is untrue,  
But of this, the wolf prince has no clue.  
The reason they trail—  
Koga's got a nice tail—  
And the truth is that they love the view.

**  
M. I. L. F.**

From the time Sesshomaru was a tot,  
It had been with him quite a sore spot.  
It got to be wearing;  
He was quite sick of hearing  
People say, "Dude, your mom's really hot."

**  
Foiled**

"Sango, what a stroke of good luck!"  
Miroku announced with great pluck.  
The others would be gone  
For a time very long.  
"Now we have the whole day to— for cryin' out loud, they're back."


	6. Volume 6

**On Pairings **

Kaede is an old maid,  
A miko who doesn't get paid.  
She gets along fine;  
Only thing that she minds  
Is in fanfic she never gets laid.

But Kagome has it even harder;  
She's paired up with feelings of ardor  
To so many blokes,  
It's become such a joke,  
She's the village bicycle martyr.

She stays with Inuyasha in canon,  
Hooks up with Sesshomaru in fanon,  
Goes from Miroku to Koga  
(But God forbid Myoga),  
She's saddled with man-boy to boy-man.

And Sango, I didn't forget her.  
She's an often-neglected character.  
In canon she's paired  
But nobody cares.  
Alt pairings most people would prefer.

Sess-writers have a tough decision,  
To pair him with Kagura or grown Rin.  
You'd think they would choose  
From one of those two,  
Yet it's Kagome who most often gets him.

There's no pairing consensus on Kikyo,  
The original heroine miko.  
Inu/Kik's hardly written  
When the fandom is smitten  
With portraying that "bitch" as evil.

But the pairing war most obscene  
Involves Inupapa and his two "queens."  
Which one of his sons'  
Moms did he love?  
All this fuss over chars hardly seen.

So if you don't know which pairing to pick,  
Or if all of this talk makes you sick,  
Bite your tongue and just do it—  
Oh what the hell, screw it—  
Give the pairings a rest: Write genfic.


End file.
